Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Back Again . .

WARNING: THIS WILL BE GRAPHIC AND I WILL GO INTO DETAIL
READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

The day started out like every other day . . you know puking in the shower and heading to work.

On Wednesdays my mom spends time with Alex and today we decided to go to the Maple Maze, which is a big indoor park. The kids where all excited and its a rainy day so we knew it was going to be packed. We let the kids play for about an hour and then decided it was snack time. We went out into the lobby area and had a snack.

All of a sudden I felt a gush and no I didn't pee my pants. I looked down and you could see small spots of blood coming through my pants.

So I wrapped my moms sweatshirt around my waste and headed to the bathroom.

I sat down and the blood just came flowing out. Cole and Parker where waiting outside ( this bathroom was for both sexes and there was only one in this play area ). When I thought I got some what control on it I washed my hands and let the boys use the bathroom.

BUT I WAS WRONG.

I knocked on the door loud and asked Cole to let me back in. I sat down and there where clots and a lot more blood.

I WAS SURE I HAD JUST LOST THE BABY.

I started crying and Cole and Parker where still in the bathroom with me and other kids where trying to get in. I wanted them to go get my mom but I didn't dare have them open the door. I felt bad that they where in there with me but again I didn't want the door flying open as I am sitting on the toilet with my pants at my knees crying.

So I finally realized I had to get up and get out of this bathroom. I found my mom and grabbed one of Sophie's diapers because I had nothing else.

I called the Dr. and left a message but it can sometimes take up to 2 hours for them to get back to you. So I called back and got transferred to the scheduling ladies. This lady was so sweet and talked to a nurse and got me an appointment but I had to wait a little over an hour.

So we decided to go to lunch and I wish I could have eaten more but the cramping was really starting to bug me. Plus it was not comfy wearing a baby diaper as a pad.

So we finally got to the Dr. Office and I had an Ultra Sound First.

OUR BABY IS MOVING. HIS/HER HEART IS BEATING ( 160 bpm ). THIS BABY IS STILL ALIVE.

I couldn't believe it. Let me tell you how uncomfortable this ultra sound was and how scared I was. I couldn't believe that our baby, this baby growing inside me was still alive and chugging along.

She did find a tare about 1 inch or 2.4 cm to be exact and that is what is causing all this bleeding. There is a name for it but I don't remember, I was just so excited that my baby was still there and I could see it moving around.

Stephanie the Ultra Sound Lady was so nice and made the comment that the baby was moving so much that it was heard to get a rating on his/her heartbeat. That was so good to see.

I got to talk with the Dr. after that and she did an exam herself. My cervix is closed which is good because if I was in the process of a miscarriage then it would be open or soft and going to open.

She said there is nothing that causes this, there is nothing I can do to help stop it or prevent it. I can do anything, just should not have sex until the bleeding is done.

SO WE WAIT . . AND WE SEE . . AND IT SUCKS . .

I want there to be something I can do, I want to make sure that the tare heals itself and that everything is ok with my baby.

BUT WE WAIT . . AND WE WAIT . .

I did get to leave work early today. Thank God cause sitting in bloody underwear and pants did not sound like fun to me. Plus I am having cramps and I am just thankful that I was able to leave.

I do have a picture of the baby and he/she measures are 9 weeks 5 days. I will have to upload it later today.

She did tell me that I ovulated out of my right ovary which I found interesting.

And they did give me a few pads so I didn't have a ware a baby diaper home!

Thinking Happy Thoughts And Trying To Stay Positive.

I Ask For Your Thoughts And Prayers!

Thank you to my mom and Anna for being by my side and helping me through all this and with the kids!

4 comments:

Jessica said...

Oh girl, bless your heart! I am still praying for you.

Emily said...

so so scary, but so thankful that you have seen a heartbeat. I can only imagine how terrifying this is. I'll be praying for you.

Mary said...

Erin I am so sorry that you went throught that. It is great to hear your little one is still moving and "chugging along". :) I am definatly still praying for you guys. Get some rest and think positive thoughts.

♥ Mary

Meant to be a mom said...

Oh my goodness, Prayers. So many prayers.