Monday, October 4, 2010

Soul Mate

I shot a wedding last weekend and with every wedding that I shoot I learn something new.  I learn something about myself, my marriage or just about love and marriage in general.  One of my favorite things about weddings is just being able to capture a few pictures for the bride and groom to cherish but also to listen to the message that the pastor is telling each bride and groom.

The pastor from last weekend gave an amazing message.  It was a message that I thought fit perfect into my life and how I view marriage and love.

He said something along the lines
( I was tempted to whip out my phone and text it to myself just so I would remember word for word )

" It is not about finding the right person but being the right person "

He talked about how when you ask someone why they are not married yet they always answer with :
I have not found the right person . .
I have not found my soul mate . .

I found this to be so real and right.  You have to be in the right place in your life.  You have to be willing to except changes.  You have to be willing to know that you are going to grow and change in the years to come.  You have to know that you will not be the same person you are today as you will be in 1, 2, 3 or more years.  

Not only will you change but your spouse will not be the same person you married.  

You have to want to grow and change with them.  You have to love them for who they are now and who they are going to be come.  You have to hope that you will grow together.  You have to hope that your values and goals in life will grow together and become a reality ( not all goals have to be together of course ).  

I myself . .  
do not believe in soul mates . . do not believe there is only one person out there for me . .

I do not believe that I was just so lucky to stumble upon Chad one day.
I do not believe that he is the only person out there that I could be married to.
I do not believe that he is the only person that could make me happy.
I do not believe that he is the only person that I could make happy.
I do not believe that he is the only person out there that I could love the way I love him.

I myself . . 
believe in love . .  believe in marriage . .

I believe that marriage is work.
I believe that my marriage is worth fighting for.
I believe that Chad is worth everything.
I believe that Chad and I are meant to be married.
I believe that Chad and I are in love.
I believe that Chad would fight for our marriage.
I believe in US.

I believe that Chad and I met and that we fell in love and we got married and made two stunning little girls and have a home and share lots of interests. I believe that we will both continue to grow and that we will challenge each other but also bring out the best in each other.

I also believe that if we didn't work at our marriage, we wouldn't be married to this day.  I believe that we are married and happy because of the fights that we have had and overcome.  I believe that we are married because we have chosen to grown together and learn with each other and be there for each other.  I believe we are still married because a lot of our values are the same.

I believe if we were Soul Mates
well then why would marriage be work, why would we fight and why wouldn't everything be perfect?

I just feel like the word Soul Mate makes everything seem or sound so perfect.
Life is everything but perfect.

I want Alex and Avin to grow up knowing
they have to fight for what they want
they don't need to change who they are to make someone else happy
compromise is huge
many will love them for who they are
it is ok to be wrong
be true to themselves
stick up for what they believe in
set goals ( needs and wants )
be happy

These are just my thoughts and my beliefs!!
I don't believe in fairy tales but I do believe in Happy Endings.
I Do Love My Husband!


Anna said...

Nice post, Erin!

I agree - marriage is a lot of work, but totally worth it. :)

Lucy Marie said...

Hm I just left a comment but then it told me there was a server error? did it work?? I can't even remember what I said (baby brain) .... but ... I loveddddd this post.

Katie said...

totally agree with you...!

Annie said...

Erin! This is such a good post...and I totally agree with you!! Thanks for sharing :)

Sharstin said...

ditto girly! what a great post~ love!

Paige said...

Oh me, I really really love this Erin! It makes me want to send Mark a link to this post!