Friday, August 16, 2013

A Big Step....

Introducing a man into your childrens lives....
Introducing a women into your childrens lives....

Not just a man or a women but someone you want to enter their lives and become a part of it.
Not just a man or a women but someone you want to one day become a role model to them.
Not just a man or a women but someone that can help make a difference in their lives.
Not just a man or a women but someone that one day may become a step dad/mom.

All the above are extremely important things to me.
Things that have scared me to death when I think about my life and my girls.
Things that have held me back from dating or truly opening up to someone.

I don't take it lightly, bringing a man into their lives.
In fact no guy until now has been introduced into their lives, not even a friend.

You see, I come from a divorced family.
I was given the best step dad any little girl could have asked for.
I was given the best step dad any women could ask for.
I was given the best step dad my girls now call grandpa.
I was lucky, I am lucky, we are lucky!

I don't think I could ever thank my step dad enough...
No words written could ever let him know how much my girls and I appreciate him...
No words written could ever let him know just how thankful I am to have him in my life...

So when I think about a guy walking into my girls lives...
I think they have amazing footsteps to follow, in my eyes!

It takes a lot to be a step dad or a step mom...
there are boundires and fine lines that you walk on....
Communication, understanding, compromising...
knowing when to step back and when to step in....
Are all things a blended family will need to concentrate on!

I'm not looking for a father for my girls...
they have that, a great dad!

I am looking for a partner...
someone to stand by me, hold me, allow me to vent, be a role model,  
allow me to parent but also parent with me,  agree to discipline the same way so 
that it doesn't matter what one of us does the disciplining, know that sometimes ones kids might listen to the step parent better, who knowns when to step in but also step out, build respect with each others kids, have fun together and make memories.

Looking back I knew my step dad would always be there and in the end
 it was more like I had two dads, not a step dad and a dad.

  My mom and my step dad parented together, though my mom said
 it wasn't always easy it worked for them.

Not just one disciplined us, not just one set the rules, we where a family,
did things as a family and I never once felt like I was his step daughter
or that his kids came before my brother and I!

I know with me being the youngest...
I may see it differently then my siblings...
But looking back I am grateful for my mom and steps dads relationship...
The relationship they had then and they have now...
I look up to them in many ways when it comes to family and love.

I want a man in my girls lives,
that just because he didn't help make them, he will treat them as his own,
through the good and the bad he will stand with me, by them!

I knew finding this wouldn't be easy,
I know that just because I grew up in what I thought was a great divorced family,
that I might not ever find someone like my step dad,
that I may not ever find someone that I truly could imagine as a step father to my girls.

This is a HUGE deal to me,
scared the shit out of me for a really long time,
no matter if I was interested in the person,
if I couldn't imagine them as a father,
there was no reason to imagine them as a date or a partner!

Everyone deserves a chance,
but this was one thing that I could never get past...
I just honestly never felt like anyone was good enough for that role...
The role I mentioned above, what I expect out of someone who is going to
be a big part of my girls lives.

And then I met him,
I wanted him, had a feeling he was going to be around for awhile, if not forever,
but didn't help almost scared me more to introduce my girls to him...

You see I wanted to protect them...
Not bring someone into their lives I wasn't sure about...
But he made me so sure about everything that was happening between us...
That even though I was scared, nervous and worried...
I wanted them to meet him and I wanted him in their lives!

When they first met it was quick and simple...
He brought us McDonalds one day for lunch....
Hung out for a little bit and then headed back to work...
Honestly it was perfect, eased my mind a little and got me excited for the next time.

He knew I was nervous, scared, anxious...
But he made it seem so easy and simple...
He made it feel so right, like this was supposed to be.

The next time was for a longer period of time...
Dinner, Kickball, Music and Dancing...
This is when I really saw my future flash before me...
Watching this was so real, honest and right.

I now know why I was scared, not willing to just bring anyone into their lives, protecting them...
This is a big deal, they are a big deal and this is important to me...
I am glad I waited and that he is the only one that has been introduced to them...
I see a future with him, I am planning a future with him, I know there is a future with him.

I'm Thankful...
Thankful for such an amazing role model that I had in my life growing up...
Thankful that he still is an amazing role model in my life as well as my girls...
Thankful for this amazing man that is now in my life as well as my girls...


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